[WIP] updates based on Ward's feedback and more edits of my own

public/docs/ts/latest/tutorial/_data.json

@@ -7,33 +7,33 @@
   },
   "toh-pt1": {
     "title": "The Hero Editor",
-    "intro": "We build a simple hero editor",
+    "intro": "Build a simple hero editor.",
     "nextable": true
   },
   "toh-pt2": {
     "title": "Master/Detail",
-    "intro": "We build a master/detail page with a list of heroes",
+    "intro": "Build a master/detail page with a list of heroes.",
     "nextable": true
   },
   "toh-pt3": {
     "title": "Multiple Components",
-    "intro": "We refactor the master/detail view into separate components",
+    "intro": "Refactor the master/detail view into separate components.",
     "nextable": true
   },
   "toh-pt4": {
     "title": "Services",
-    "intro": "We create a reusable service to manage our hero data calls",
+    "intro": "Create a reusable service to manage the hero data calls.",
     "nextable": true
   },
   "toh-pt5": {
     "title": "Routing",
-    "intro": "We add the Angular Router and learn to navigate among the views",
+    "intro": "Add the Angular component router and learn to navigate among the views.",
     "nextable": true
   },
   "toh-pt6": {
     "title": "HTTP",
     "subtitle": "Getting and saving data",
-    "intro": "We convert our service and components to use Angular's HTTP service",
+    "intro": "Convert the service and components to use Angular's HTTP service.",
     "nextable": true
   }
 }

public/docs/ts/latest/tutorial/index.jade

@@ -2,80 +2,82 @@ block includes
   include ../_util-fns
 
 :marked
-  Our grand plan for this tutorial is to build an app to help a staffing agency manage its stable of heroes.
-  Even heroes need to find work.
+  The grand plan for this tutorial is to build an app that helps a staffing agency manage its stable of heroes.
 
-  Of course we'll only make a little progress in this tutorial. What we do build will
-  have many of the features we expect to find in a full-blown, data-driven application: acquiring and displaying
+  The Tour of Heroes app covers the core fundamentals of Angular. You'll build a basic app that
+  has many of the features you'd expect to find in a full-blown, data-driven app: acquiring and displaying
   a list of heroes, editing a selected hero's detail, and navigating among different
   views of heroic data.
 
-  The Tour of Heroes covers the core fundamentals of Angular.
-  We’ll use built-in directives to show/hide elements and display lists of hero data.
-  We’ll create a component to display hero details and another to show an array of heroes.
-  We'll use one-way data binding for read-only data. We'll add editable fields to update a model
-  with two-way data binding. We'll bind component methods to user events like key strokes and clicks.
-  We’ll learn to select a hero from a master list and edit that hero in the details view. We'll
-  format data with pipes. We'll create a shared service to assemble our heroes. And we'll use routing to navigate among different views and their components.
+  You'll use built-in directives to show and hide elements and display lists of hero data.
+  You'll create components to display hero details and show an array of heroes.
+  You'll use one-way data binding for read-only data. You'll add editable fields to update a model
+  with two-way data binding. You'll bind component methods to user events, like keystrokes and clicks.
+  You'll enable users to select a hero from a master list and edit that hero in the details view. You'll
+  format data with pipes. You'll create a shared service to assemble the heroes.
+  And you'll use routing to navigate among different views and their components.
+  <!-- CF: Should this be a bullet list? -->
 
-  We’ll learn enough core Angular to get started and gain confidence that
-  Angular can do whatever we need it to do.
-  We'll be covering a lot of ground at an introductory level but we’ll find plenty of links
-  to chapters with greater depth.
+  You'll learn enough core Angular to get started and gain confidence that
+  Angular can do whatever you need it to do.
+  You'll cover a lot of ground at an introductory level, and you'll find many links
+  to pages with greater depth.
+
+  When you're done with this tutorial, the app will look like this <live-example name="toh-6"></live-example>.
 
-  Run the <live-example name="toh-6"></live-example>.
 
 .l-main-section
 :marked
-  ## The End Game
+  ## The end game
 
-  Here's a visual idea of where we're going in this tour, beginning with the "Dashboard"
-  view and our most heroic heroes:
+  Here's a visual idea of where this tutorial leads, beginning with the "Dashboard"
+  view and the most heroic heroes:
 
 figure.image-display
   img(src='/resources/images/devguide/toh/heroes-dashboard-1.png' alt="Output of heroes dashboard")
 
 :marked
-  Above the dashboard are two links ("Dashboard" and "Heroes").
-  We could click them to navigate between this Dashboard and a Heroes view.
+  You can click the two links above the dashboard ("Dashboard" and "Heroes") 
+  to navigate between this Dashboard view and a Heroes view.
 
-  Instead we click the dashboard hero named "Magneta" and the router takes us to a "Hero Details" view
-  of that hero where we can change the hero's name.
+  If you click the dashboard hero "Magneta," the router opens a "Hero Details" view
+  where you can change the hero's name.
 
 figure.image-display
   img(src='/resources/images/devguide/toh/hero-details-1.png' alt="Details of hero in app")
 
 :marked
-  Clicking the "Back" button would return us to the "Dashboard".
-  Links at the top can take us to either of the main views.
-  We'll click "Heroes". The app takes to the "Heroes" master list view.
+  Clicking the "Back" button returns you to the Dashboard.
+  Links at the top take you to either of the main views.
+  If you click "Heroes," the app displays the "Heroes" master list view.
 
 figure.image-display
   img(src='/resources/images/devguide/toh/heroes-list-2.png' alt="Output of heroes list app")
+//  CF: The ability to add heroes isn't shown in the images or discussed in this page. Should that be added?
 
 :marked
-  We click a different hero and the readonly mini-detail beneath the list reflects our new choice.
+  When you click a different hero name, the read-only mini detail beneath the list reflects the new choice.
 
-  We click the "View Details" button to drill into the
-  editable details of our selected hero.
+  You can click the "View Details" button to drill into the
+  editable details of the selected hero.
 
-  The following diagram captures all of our navigation options.
+  The following diagram captures all of the navigation options.
 
 figure.image-display
   img(src='/resources/images/devguide/toh/nav-diagram.png' alt="View navigations")
 
 :marked
-  Here's our app in action
+  Here's the app in action:
 
 figure.image-display
   img(src='/resources/images/devguide/toh/toh-anim.gif' alt="Tour of Heroes in Action")
 
 .l-main-section
 :marked
-  ## Up Next
+  ## Up next
 
-  We’ll build this Tour of Heroes together, step by step.
-  We'll motivate each step with a requirement that we've
-  met in countless applications. Everything has a reason.
+  You'll build the Tour of Heroes app, step by step.
+  Each step is motivated with a requirement that you've likely
+  met in many applications. Everything has a reason.
 
-  And we’ll meet many of the core fundamentals of Angular along the way.
+  Along the way, you'll become familiar with many of the core fundamentals of Angular.